Why do you write?

People ask me what I want to do and they seem surprised when I say “Write”. Why? Because apparently people look at me and see someone who is smart, who can do all these things, and who can “command” a room. That’s not true. The truth is, I may be smart–but I’m not as smart as everyone thinks. I can command a room, but not with power or interest.

You see, ever since I was little I had a simple idea of what I wanted to do “I want to make a difference. I want to save people.” It seems simple enough–there’s so many things to do. So I tried. I tried to be a biochemist–to dabble in it in hopes of becoming a cancer researcher. Well, it turns out I’m rather shit at science. Honestly horrible. I pass classes only by studying my ass of, but quite honestly I’m terrible at most anything that has to do with actual scientific testing. Plus it has a lot of math sometimes and I suck at math. I can barely do arithmetic in my head.

So I thought, maybe I’ll become a psychologist. Sadly, I apparently am not good at talking to people. Well, at least in the way psychologist’s should. I understand them, but I’m really bad at actually listening and giving helpful advice…or so I’m told. Besides, I get too sad listening to others problems. It hurts me to see other people’s pain so intimately.

Well, then what if I did something else? A doctor! I can be a doctor. Too bad hospitals freak me out and to be honest, I don’t think my own mind would allow me to be a doctor. Plus I won’t lie to you…I’ve never given it an honest try because I sucked so bad at anything that requires deep concentration and a steady hand (I’m a natural klutz).

So then I realized I was having a problem. How can I help someone when all that I tried I was either not good enough at, just plain out got bored with? I was at a complete loss. Everyone was telling me I could do anything and yet I knew it wasn’t true because I did have limitations in my own skills. What was I to do? What could I possibly do to “save” people and make a difference? Write.

It took me a while to come to this conclusion, but I’d always been writing–ever since I was a kid (y’know–on the walls with crayons). So my solution was staring at me in the face. I, who raved about stories that changed my life. I, who always was inspired to write down what I saw around me. I–I could be a writer. All of a sudden, I realized that stories, art–they can make a difference. They can make someone feel not so alone, they can inspire, can heal. Stories have this beautiful power of being able to be whatever you make them. Which is why I decided that I wanted to write stories; beautiful stories, powerful stories, stories that showed the good and the bad of life. Stories that came from somewhere deep and showed a part of the human experience.

Ever since I came to this conclusion, I’ve been able to proudly tell people “I want to be a writer” and when they ask I can tell them easily “because I want to make a difference. I want to write stories that’ll touch people. That’ll give them hope or make them feel less alone.” Because I may not be good at math or science or talking in great crowds, teaching, or more, but that doesn’t mean I can’t change someone’s life. No matter what you do, you can always change someone’s life. Maybe not in the obvious ways, but even just the smallest.

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It’s a Holly Jolly Season

It’s that wonderful time of year! Christmas season is well underway and the streets are lit up with fairy lights. As much as I love fall weather, snow and cold is also lovely. There’s something about icicles on bare tree branches that is just absolutely beautiful. It really gets me wanting to write something in an attempt to capture the magic of the season.

Of course as much as I want to write, I also want to go out and enjoy the weather. There’s so many wonderful and festive things about December. Be it holiday shopping, mulled wine, roasted chestnuts, Christmas Bizarre’s, the festival of lights, ice skating (which I’m fairly bad at), hot chocolate, or just hanging around with friends and family–there’s just so much to do! I recently decorated my Christmas tree (and pretty much the entire first floor) while listening to Christmas music and it was just so divine. One of my favorite parts of decorating is being able to go around and look at all the ornaments we’ve had. Almost every single decoration has a history behind it–a story of whytree and when it was purchased or made. Some represent family trips, others friends, some are from childhood, others derive all the way back to my mum decorating her mother’s tree. Putting all the decorations up is like re-reading a good book-happy to turn each page and relive the moments once again.

In particular, I’ve noticed just how many angel ornaments we have. I wonder if that’s why I took to angels in my book series? I wouldn’t put it past myself. We also have an angel atop our tree instead of a star. Funny thing is that angel is as old as me. Apparently the year I was born, my parents didn’t have anything to put on top of the tree and my two-year-old brother asked our mother why there wasn’t an angel at the top. I think she was a little perplexed as to why he specifically asked about an angel and not a star like most Christmas trees. Either way, she decided to trek out all the way to Michael’s and found pretty much the only angel they had left. Then she had to call our father to pick her up from the store for some reason and when he asked why she was all the way out there she recounted the story. So that’s why we have an angel sitting atop our tree. She isn’t a fancy angel–her wreath is falling from her hands, and she almost never sits properly at the top of the tree, but somehow this year she did. Maybe that’s a good sign. I’m sure we could all use some luck or guidance.

I also have a TON of holiday shopping to do before Christmas (as well as other events). So much that I’ve actually considered using my Youtube channel at last and doing a 12 days of Vlogmas up until Christmas. It’s a good excuse to kick my butt into actually posting content on my Youtube. What do you guys think? Anyone interested in 12 days of Vlogmas? Let me know! A link to my channel can be found in the social media pins.

I hope everyone has a great holiday season! Make sure to spend time with your family and friends. Be nice to each other and enjoy the holidays!

Don’t forget to seek out adventure!

xxx

 

 

Writer Talk & Sake

You know what every good writer needs every once and a while? Another writer to talk to.

–And alcohol. Mostly the alcohol.

The other day I went on a nice excursion to the mall with my fellow writer friend and we enacted that terribly stereotypical and entirely accurate depiction of girls going shopping for fun. We did and we shopped a ton. I really¬†don’t remember the last time I’ve shopped so much (mostly cause of the lack of money [yeah totally becoming that other stereotype of the broke author]). I normally go window shopping and this time I actually bought quite a few bits and pieces and spent most of the day shopping. Of course this was fine since I was supposed to be resting my wrist from typing anyway.

Anyway, so after shopping we decided to get some food to eat and talk about writing. We went to a Japanese restaurant we frequent and ordered a bunch of appetizers and one other we really needed: SAKE. Got ourselves a tiny bottle and started drinking it before our food even came. It’s probably not best to feed into the stereotype of the struggling writer always drinking but in this moment of weakness we definitely did.

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Over our drinks and food we had a nice talk about each other’s stories. We had a nice talk about what our favorite part of our books was. The funny thing was, though we could each pinpoint exactly what our favorite part in each other’s books, we honestly couldn’t figure out our favorite parts in our own work. Perhaps because we are too close to our writing to be able to pick anything that particularly stands out…

Still, I thought it odd we couldn’t find the best in our own work so I decided it should be our task (or homework if you wish) to think about our favorite part. I think it’s important that authors are able to distinguish the one moment in their own book that they liked the most–whether for description, dialogue, feeling, or action. It’s nice to be able to think “ah, that was good”. Creators of anything really need to be able to be humble as well as look at their own work and see what is great about it.

So, now you know my homework for the week. I’m going to think hard on what I believe my favorite to be. So for whoever is reading this, I task you with the same homework: What is your favorite part of something you’re working on?

Don’t forget to seek out adventure!

xxx

Old friends & Coffee

Over the summer I found that a lot of people I used to know managed to apparate into my life again. It all started with my friend who, out of all things, lives down the street and whom I hadn’t talked to in a while. ¬†Once the best of friends we grew apart and yet connected last January again over coffee. During the summer I saw her a few more times, either dancing or having coffee dates. It was a little awkward but overall nice (a subject we touched on). It was nice because even though we’d both changed and it was a little strange at first, before we knew it it was like no time had passed at all. It was like we were back in the days when we talked about everything and had fun. It was just that we were older and instead of drinking lemonade we were drinking IPA’s.

Aside from her, I bumped into other friends (a few of which also live in the same neighborhood as I and her. How ever did we grow apart?) and the same kind of things happened with them (I bumped into most of them at bars/lounges) and it was both fun and still weird. You see, while we all felt like we were all in the same place in life (nowhere), we also seemed slightly…competitive. As we chatted it was a huge game of who has done more things and who has had the craziest “adult” life yet (can I say adult if we’re only like twenty-two?). The more I spent time with old friends the more it seemed that since we all knew we were in the same rut, it was only a matter of who had the best time getting there. It made me wonder about that scenario you see played out on television where at the high school reunion you go to flaunt off your success. But again, this time it wasn’t so much success as it was how fun things are.

Which of course got me thinking…why were we all out there dancing and drinking and “enjoying our twenties” when all we talked over coffee about was jobs, books, adult life, and the troubles we were having? Well, it wasn’t hard to figure out. You see, we’re all coming back into town after graduating college and the funny thing is none of us did what we set out to. We never got the ring to Mordor, we didn’t find the Horcruxes, we didn’t even get the lantern into the pumpkin in time. That’s not to say we didn’t do anything in college. We all had great times, got our degrees, and acquired mass amount of loans, but none of us are coming back bragging about that amazing job or internship that is lined up for us straight out of college. Most of us can’t even give the amazing love story of meeting their Marshall or Lily during college Most of us can just say, “yeah, well I’m looking for a job to save up to do…[insert goal here]”. Which makes sense. Life isn’t what our high school mindset thought it would be and that’s okay. It never is, and maybe we have to drink our troubles away to forget how everything isn’t working out for us at the moment but that’s okay–well, at least for now. It just needs time and patience and it’ll be fine. It may not be what we expected but it’ll be beautiful anyway. Plus, until then we can always chat over coffee when we run into each other. If there’s one comfort, it’s familiarity in the changing world of life after college. And it’s great to be with familiar people, dancing the night away so we can relax from our worries for just a little bit.

And I guess even as I scour for jobs still and edit my book (last edits I swear! Then to query agents), I have it a bit better than others. After all, I got my best freak friend (That doesn’t sound nearly as endearing as it is) that’s a constant amongst all the other people who come and go like the tide.

Now then, since this is titled “old friends AND coffee” I guess I should mention coffee a bit. Of course, I just mentioned coffee because most of my old friend’s always want to get coffee! I guess that’s because coffee dates are the thing to do in your twenty’s (and beyond). Anyway, here’s some last minute wisdom! When in doubt, ditch the phone talks for a nice heart to heart over coffee. Good company and a soothing drink are sometimes exactly what you need.

That’s all for now. Thanks for sticking with this rant and I hope you’re having a lovely morning/afternoon/evening whenever and wherever you are!

Don’t forget to seek out adventure!

xxx

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